What actually happens when 15 people crowd around a tantric massage demo — and why does everyone still ask about the magic button? In this episode, Bill and Freyja debrief the live tantric massage sessions held at Freyja Manor and in Vancouver, BC, unpacking the anatomy questions that flooded in from the audience, why orgasm shouldn't be the goal of every intimate encounter, and how self-exploration — solo and partnered — is the real foundation of sexual communication.
_Note: we originally planned to include a Dominance by Design Q&A here too — that's been postponed to a future episode so we could give the tantric massage questions the space they deserved._
This episode is a debrief and Q&A drawn directly from live tantric massage demos at Freyja Manor and a separate session in Vancouver, BC, with roughly 15–18 audience members at each.
**Tantric massage: what actually happened at the demo.** Bill gave a live tantric massage on Freyja at Freyja Manor, progressing from back-of-body touch to genital touch over an extended session — roughly an hour to an hour and a half. Freyja had multiple orgasms in front of the audience. The crowd was mixed couples and singles, some from the kink community, all there to learn. The moment Bill moved to internal touch, half the room repositioned themselves to get a closer look.
**The most common question: anatomy.** Audiences at both sessions were surprised by how little they knew about their own bodies — particularly female anatomy. Bill and Freyja discuss why pictures and porn don't translate to real understanding, and why Freyja recommends literally using a mirror. Bill notes the clitoris is a large internal organ, not a single point — and that reading a partner's physical feedback matters far more than following a formula.
**Orgasm, squirting, and letting go.** Multiple orgasms and squirting came up repeatedly in Q&A. Bill explains that women often hold back squirting because they fear they're about to pee; the same sensation occurs for men during prostate stimulation. Both say the barrier is as much mental as physical — self-practice, learning what your own body does, and removing the performance pressure around "did you come?" are all prerequisites.
**Energy, touch, and the whole-body approach.** Freyja shares a practice of consciously feeling sensation through non-hand skin — learned from cuddling her cat with her leg. She also recounts a blindfolded event at an art museum where she identified both Bill and her husband by energy alone before anyone spoke. Bill connects this to tantric massage: light, sustained, whole-body awareness rather than targeted stimulation.
**Sex toys, porn, and communication.** Bill and Freyja discuss when vibrators and other toys are useful (especially for getting past a mental block) versus when they can become a crutch. Freyja notes there are meaningfully different vibration types and encourages experimentation from low intensity up. The episode closes on communication — guiding a partner verbally or by hand placement — as the throughline connecting all of the above.
Next episode: Freyja will share her orgy party experience and her encounter with a porn star. Bill is teasing it as especially valuable from a female perspective. Send questions to OrgasmExpress@gmail.com (three S's at the end).
## Chapters
- 00:40 — Bill introduces the tantric massage demo at Freyja Manor and Vancouver session
- 01:37 — Why anatomy is the most common question from demo audiences
- 03:47 — Freyja recaps the actual demo structure: slow connection over 60–90 minutes
- 06:21 — What happened when the audience watched live internal touch
- 08:24 — There is no magic button: reading feedback instead of following a formula
- 10:26 — The build-up principle: why porn's formula doesn't map to real sex
- 15:11 — Energy awareness: Freyja's whole-body touch practice and the art museum blindfold event
- 18:50 — Orgasm, multiple orgasms, and squirting questions from the Q&A
- 20:36 — The squirting/prostate "I'm going to pee" sensation and why people hold back
- 23:27 — Sex toys: which types suit which people, and why to start slow
- 27:45 — Oral sex, feedback, and how to guide a partner without making it criticism
- 33:55 — Solo pleasure, partner guilt, and removing stigma from self-gratification
[Freyja 00:00] Hi, welcome back to Orgasm Express. I'm Freyja Manor.
[Bill 00:04] I'm Bill. Orgasm Express episode— I can't remember what number we're on now because we had a big gap and now we're doing a few back to back to back. Um, we are currently again both of us sitting next to each other and not sitting on opposite sides of the world, which is a bonus. Um, so that's really, really cool. So we hope you enjoy this episode. Following off my last episode, we talked about the events that we attended and in certain cases organized, and this podcast is dealing more about some of the questions we've got from within that.
[Freyja 00:39] Yes.
[Bill 00:40] So let's jump straight in. Now, I did, uh, a tantric massage here at, uh, your beautiful venue.
[Freyja 00:51] Yes, on you, Freyja Manor.
[Bill 00:53] Freyja Manor. And then on you which was an absolute bonus. And we had a wonderful person doing the translation into English for all the comments. And I also did a similar session with another lady in Vancouver, BC, Canada. And it was amazing from there, both sessions, how many questions we got, but also just in general, other things we've done where we get many, many questions. So I think the biggest question that came out was— not the biggest question, but the one, the most common one, uh, is anatomy. Like, people not knowing where things are in the body.
[Freyja 01:37] Oh yeah, I think that's very common question.
[Bill 01:40] You really think so? I think in this day and age, you think there's so much stuff on the internet where you'd think it'd be easy to at least have a basic knowledge But it's amazing how many people don't.
[Freyja 01:52] Um, but that is picture sometimes, not 3D or like in real.
[Bill 01:57] Yeah, yeah.
[Freyja 01:57] Or actually they can't find it. I think lots of people even didn't have any experience that put the mirror in front their body.
[Bill 02:08] Uh-huh.
[Freyja 02:09] Yeah, like split the leg and put that mirror in the middle.
[Bill 02:13] Yeah, just to see what's really down there. Yeah, for the ladies in particular. Yeah, I, I always find it interesting too in respect that. It's very, very true. Plus, I think nowadays with, with so much pornography— I mean, it's— don't get me wrong, I love pornography. Um, but it doesn't really teach you anything, does it?
[Freyja 02:36] Um, see what you say in the different—
[Bill 02:41] so what you— so, oh, here we go. So it does teach you some stuff, but maybe doesn't teach you all the stuff you want to know. You think that's probably a better statement? Yeah, okay, so let's, let's dive deeper into that. So we see a lot of stuff if we use porn, and we use again lack of experience maybe as an example. One of the things that, um, particularly after the tantric session that was done here at Freyja Manor, there was, uh, a lady in particular who sat with me and actually our translator and her boyfriend as well, and asked lots and lots of questions. Um, and even though they were partnered, there was still a lot of questions. And of course, the boyfriend's listening in a lot too. Um, and part of that was all around orgasms. Um, considering with the Orgasm Express, this is a perfect way to kind of jump into that. And she was interested in, in touch Yeah, I think we should jump—
[Freyja 03:47] before we jump into that, we should like catch up what we did at the demo. As we do the massage very slowly and connectedly, like an hour, an hour and a half. Yeah. And that is not a goal, but in the end we have the beautiful wrap-up with your finger inside me.
[Bill 04:12] Yeah. And it's true, I'm getting too excited ahead of myself. So yeah, for those, for those of you who aren't aware, in many cases tantric massage is very much a connection. And if you want to say even healing, there's lots of energy work going on there as well. But even if you don't have any of that experience, it's very much a connection with no expectations. So the, the touch, um, is extended. It's not like a massage you would go to to heal. Yes, in your muscles. It's very much a sensual sensation.
[Freyja 04:45] Yeah, it's not a physical muscle and like rubbing, grabbing, like chiropractors. No.
[Bill 04:52] Yeah, yeah. So we— and we spent a lot of time discussing, um, kind of energy and where to touch and how to touch, and took the time working on, um, the back of the body first. You know, with some, with some lovely gentle touch between your legs from behind. Um, and then on your front, we actually did some more. But the biggest thing that we need to kind of comment on, which Freyja already mentioned, was there's no expectation of orgasm. It's really there for just a connection, and it often is a foreplay to sex, and people do have lots of fun afterwards. Other times it just leaves their partner in a beautiful state of rest Yes. And you just cover them over and look after them.
[Freyja 05:40] Yes. With the, like, lovely blanket or candles.
[Bill 05:44] Yeah. Or music or even—
[Freyja 05:46] Smells.
[Bill 05:47] Yeah. Maybe a hot chocolate. So, so it can be that, but—
[Freyja 05:52] So it can be the foreplay or the good aftercare.
[Bill 05:56] And exactly. So in this particular one, we, because obviously we know each other well and we agreed also in advance that we were going to go further, that I did much more like genital touch, right? Outside and also then inside, and which, uh, then led to a couple of, I think, wonderful orgasms for you. At least a couple.
[Freyja 06:21] Yes, in front of people.
[Bill 06:22] In front of other people, which is also very difficult to do, I would say.
[Freyja 06:26] Yes, when the people surrounding and being really close to see what's happening and want to make sure what your hands doing.
[Bill 06:34] Exactly. And isn't that important part is— and this, this was Exactly what happened the first time I did this live. Um, similar size crowd. I mean, we've probably had like 15 or 18 people watching this one, and the one I did, uh, in Vancouver was about the same sort of number. And again, mixed crowd, male and female, um, some couples, some singles, um, and learning together as well as separately. But it was really interesting. The minute my hands went inside you all half the audience repositioned themselves. And you had your eyes closed, so you didn't notice. But they were like, whoosh, they all rushed to see. Not— they didn't get too close, it was great, but to see exactly what I was doing. And even though with my other hand I was using an idea of where my— the shape of my fingers and how I was touching, it was still very, very interesting that people who were probably more sexually experienced, even though they were new in the kink community, They were there to learn. They were really there to learn, which is really, really cool.
[Freyja 07:38] Yes.
[Bill 07:39] So one of the things that I found really, really interesting about that was people were asking me exactly where I was touching and why. And I think the biggest takeaway from this was one, going back to the point of reading and looking at pictures and anatomy and learning about the male and female body parts and where they are. But also the biggest thing I think was they were expecting me to push a magic button, you know. Yeah. Um, and even I have— obviously I'm very, very lucky to have lots of intimate experience with Freyja— is that there's no magic button.
[Freyja 08:24] Yeah, agreed. 100% agree. Yes, I think it's just the spot is always there, but different people with different situations or different synonymy, like touching this. Yes, there will be different results.
[Bill 08:39] Exactly. And I think that was interesting as well, because particularly we were talking about, uh, touching in and around the clitoris, you know. And, and the lady was asking, well, why weren't you touching on it directly? And, and I said, because one, I know you well, but two, I'm reading your feedback.
[Freyja 09:01] Yes.
[Bill 09:01] Which so many people— again, that's why I refer to the porn. It's like, step 1, do this. Step 2, do this. Step 3, do this. Oh, 4, and then she's gonna come, or he's gonna come. It's like, it's never like that.
[Freyja 09:13] Yes. One day I'm complaining to you, it's like, I hate that the formula on the porn that is like, come into the room and suck my cock. Having a blowjob and push you on a bed and having sex.
[Bill 09:30] Yeah, yeah.
[Freyja 09:32] And then someone's cum. Yes. And yeah, that's the formula on the porn.
[Bill 09:37] Yes.
[Freyja 09:38] And need to fuck really hard.
[Bill 09:39] Yes, yes.
[Freyja 09:41] And fuck till someone's cum.
[Bill 09:43] Yes. And you know, it's interesting because sometimes that's great. It's like almost like animalistic. You're— it's full of passion. But realistically, you know, if, if you have that situation, imagine you've got kids at home, right? Uh, or you've got like thin walls for your neighbors, you know, you can't do that. Then you have to be more sensual, more connected. Um, you can still have beautiful sensual play quickly.
[Freyja 10:14] I think that it's only one type of the intimate. Can I put that?
[Bill 10:20] Yeah, yeah, sure.
[Freyja 10:21] That is a thousand times difference you can do for connect.
[Bill 10:26] Yeah, yeah. And that's another interesting topic. I mean, when we talk about the mechanics of sex, and there was lots of questions about where I was touching and why, and I was talking about the actual— have a look online and find out, like, the clitoris is not just one spot, it's very, very a large organ in certain spaces. But the whole idea is the build-up as well, as you said, it's the time taken. It's not like wham bam, like a porn movie.
[Freyja 10:57] Yeah, I think maybe someone's on the demo, they will feel why they just spend so many times on just like touching the skins, like why we are not jump to the end.
[Bill 11:10] Agreed, yeah.
[Freyja 11:12] They will I think there will be a lot of people thinking about that, is why it takes so long to doing that. But that is the most important part, I think.
[Bill 11:21] Yeah. And but the thing is, if you want to call that build up, you know, if, if you're in the, you know, kink community and BDSM and you're going to do some maybe impact play, you don't start off by hitting somebody really, really, really hard at the beginning. It's like they're gonna go, what the You know, and they're gonna stop. You build up slowly, you create a connection, the body gets ready and used to the sensation, and then you can go to the end, the climax as it were, whether that be, um, you know, somebody calls yellow or red, or you stop, or like with sex, somebody comes. It's very, very true.
[Freyja 11:59] Yeah.
[Bill 12:00] Now, but what I think is really interesting to your point, and referring to porn again, is that, um, is more like the build-up and the foreplay, right? Like, you could class massage as foreplay, getting ready to play. But what about under normal circumstances, everyday stuff? Like, just even touching somebody in the daytime. I mean, I don't mean sexually, but just having a connection. Even walking past somebody in the kitchen and squeezing their ass. Yeah. What do you think about that?
[Freyja 12:38] I want to share one stuff first. Sure. Recently I'm trying to know my body more, even more. Is think about it, your hand skin seal and with compared to any other part of your body, they're all skin.
[Bill 12:59] Yeah.
[Freyja 13:00] And they're same seal on your body. So if you make more focus on your body's skin, not only on your hands. You can feel more.
[Bill 13:16] I like this.
[Freyja 13:17] It's like, why I started doing that is I like to rub my kitty by my foot or my leg. Sometimes we're cuddling, but my cat don't like my hands on her.
[Bill 13:32] That sounded really weird. I love to rub my kitty with my foot. It's like, You love to rub your pussy with your foot? Like, if you— are you like a contortionist?
[Freyja 13:42] Real kitty.
[Bill 13:43] Real kitty. Yes, yes. Kitty cat.
[Freyja 13:45] Kitty cat.
[Bill 13:46] And that's true, isn't it? Because, agree, the sensations.
[Freyja 13:50] I like to cuddle with my kitties when I'm sleeping, but sometimes she's just cuddling my leg on my side, and— but I want to feel the floor on her and my leg. I just move my, like, focus on my leg and it measures my leg as my hand, and then I can feel the hurt.
[Bill 14:14] Yeah, I like that. I like that. And it's a— yeah, it's— it— your whole body becomes more aware of the touch.
[Freyja 14:22] Yes, your whole body becomes your hand.
[Bill 14:25] Okay.
[Freyja 14:26] And you can feel different surface, the hair, the temperature, the feeling, the connection.
[Bill 14:35] I like that, you know. And it's also as well, going back to the massage, it seems to me it's, it's very sensual, but the touch is light enough that you can feel it, but not too light that it's ticklish. Yeah. Which for— I'm not ticklish at all, luckily, but if you're ticklish, it's, it's like, oh, you'll be jumping and wondering where the next touch is going to come from that you're going to react, and therefore how are you going to relax. If you think you're going to be tickled anytime.
[Freyja 15:03] Yeah.
[Bill 15:04] And if you're then aware of your body and the touch— I like that. I like that too.
[Freyja 15:11] And the second is like, it's energy work.
[Bill 15:13] You—
[Freyja 15:13] it's like, for example, for the art museum event we mentioned in last episode.
[Bill 15:21] Yeah.
[Freyja 15:21] Yes, we're— I'm blindfold and there are different group of people passing through and they're showing seen the art with the tour guides, and you and my husband, my husband's in the same group. Yes, he's doing the translate. I'm blindfold, I can't hear stuff, and once you both come like close to me, even though nobody touched me, I can feel the energy. And when you put your hand on my butt, oh, that's— I know exactly you are.
[Bill 15:56] Yes.
[Freyja 15:57] Even though you are not saying any words.
[Bill 15:59] Yeah. And I knew as well that you actually then grabbed your husband by the leg, uh, before he said a word.
[Freyja 16:09] Yeah.
[Bill 16:09] So you knew it was him by the energy too. And I think that that's something that's overlooked as much, is that your awareness in the world of where you are and the people around you— it's, it, it— for some people it's like, oh, you're just talking 'Oh, it's all BS, energy this and this, that and the other.' But if you think about it, you can feel it everywhere. I mean, there are many people, I know I can, if I walk into a room and there's like the TV's on, the electronics are on, I can feel it in the air. And a lot of people can sense when a storm's coming or other things that are just like, or your body. Imagine a lot of people get sore knees and ankles and hands. When the weather changes. Yeah, all that is is sensing what's happening around you in a different way. So why not turn it into a beautiful sensation?
[Freyja 17:00] Into sex.
[Bill 17:03] Well, but you say that, but I go back to the point as well, is you said, well, why take the time to do an hour or half an hour or 45 minutes massage? You know, um, because it is connection and it builds a relationship and a connection with the person. Um, and I found as well that the best tantric massages I've done have been with people that I have, uh, a longer connection with. Yeah. And I could do it with somebody who I don't know, but I'm learning on the fly, as it were. I'm learning them and they're learning me at the same time.
[Freyja 17:41] Yeah.
[Bill 17:41] So it's not as comfortable.
[Freyja 17:43] Um, I think maybe one of the reasons is when you're doing the tantric massage with someone you're not fully new, the focus will not be only on connections, it will be on exploring.
[Bill 18:04] Exploring. Exploring. Yeah.
[Freyja 18:06] Yes, you both cannot focus on relax and connect. You're like, oh, he's doing this and how she feels and Like, it's almost like a first date, isn't it?
[Bill 18:18] If you think about it, you think about if you— I'm sure everybody at some stage, maybe they haven't, maybe they've had like a— their first time, or a one-night stand, or your first time with somebody, or your first time doing something ever. It is, it's a great way of saying it. It's, you are exploring. Um, but going back as well to the questions that we got asked, it was interesting as well that um, there was many questions in and around, um, orgasm, multiple orgasm.
[Freyja 18:50] Yeah.
[Bill 18:50] And squirting as well, which came up as a, as a question as well, which, yeah, um, about how to do it and is it possible for everybody, um, and, and process and touch. And I, I think a lot of people who are asking these questions Um, they want it badly, but some of it also is them allowing themselves it too.
[Freyja 19:19] Agree.
[Bill 19:20] Yeah. So should we talk a little bit more about that, about the— just, yeah, what's the Frozen movie song? Let It Go. And I think there's a lot of that in there as well. It's just giving, giving yourself permission to have that kind of level of, I want to say connection, but freedom too.
[Freyja 19:44] Yeah, I think it needs to be practiced.
[Bill 19:47] Yeah, I got practice for sure, 100%.
[Freyja 19:50] I think it's practice with yourself. It's not only with the partner, to a different person. You need to practice how to relax, how to feel your body, and how's that feeling feel like. Because sometimes the orgasm or something like stimulate is not only joyful, sometimes it's tense, or sometimes it hurts.
[Bill 20:18] Yes.
[Freyja 20:19] Or sometimes tickle.
[Bill 20:20] Yes.
[Freyja 20:20] It's combined with different feeling, and sometimes you need to like cross the line that you feel, oh, maybe it's too sensitive, then you cross that and you can have different feeling.
[Bill 20:36] That's the self-exploration and the self-understanding. There's two things I'll add to that. There's— for— I've, I spoke to many women about squirting, and they say, just before I start the squirt, I feel like I'm gonna pee myself, and I'm embarrassed that I'm gonna pee myself in front of my partner, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna ruin the moment. And you hold it when it isn't peeing yourself. And the same thing for men with prostate massage. Orgasm Express, when that, that magic button inside you gets pressed, it feels like you're going to pee yourself, or you need to go toilet very, very urgently. And it's getting understanding that that's not what happening. Yes. Yeah. So, but that's very, very key because then you can then, if you know what you like, you can then guide your partner to— I'm not saying hit the right buttons, but you know what I mean? You can guide them through what you like. And it might be crazy, like, do it to me hard right now in this position, because you know exactly what is gonna— but, but I also like the fact with that, that it's sometimes we want to get there, sometimes it's like, hey, I really just need to come, right? And other times it's like, it isn't really the target. And I think that's really, really important, going back to the massage portion as well, is that orgasm isn't always the end of the journey, right? It's, it can be part of the journey later, but in the moment, if we just, oh, did you come? Did you come?
[Freyja 22:05] Oh my God, in a moment.
[Bill 22:07] Imagine the pressure, right, as well. And if you didn't, and it's like how each partner feels. The other partner thinks, oh, I didn't do it right. The other partner expects, oh well, I was expected to come from that. I don't, but I didn't feel it, but now I feel guilty, right? So there's all the the mental play in there as well, which is very, very— can be damaging. Agreed. You know, that there's the self-practice, and this now gives everybody permission to play with themselves after they finish this podcast.
[Freyja 22:37] Yeah, yeah.
[Bill 22:40] So I think that that's really, really interesting, that your point there with the exploration. And then, um, when you're finding as well— now let's— we can add to that now. Sometimes you talked about the skin and the hands. Sometimes it's— need a little bit of, um, how can I put it, electronic help. Was that a snort? So there's nothing wrong with that either. I mean, there's so many great tools out there now as well, um, where maybe you do need that assistance because as, as Freyja rightly said, sometimes to get you over that line that maybe that's something in your head that's stopping you going.
[Freyja 23:27] Yeah.
[Bill 23:27] Um, that there are, you know, lots of toys and tools out there that you can use.
[Freyja 23:33] Yeah. But I think if you are like very new person, like newbie or fresh people, or you're just trying to explore a lot more in these Eriot, I personally suggest not choose like very strong one, you know. Yeah, you need to build it very slowly and feel the sensation.
[Bill 23:57] I agree.
[Freyja 23:58] Yes.
[Bill 23:59] And the reason I mentioned toys as well, because you said it before I said it, and we hadn't even— we kind of— this, this podcast and this episode is very, very free-flowing. Most of us are, we just like engage in a conversation on a topic and we maybe have a little bit of conversation beforehand, what we're going to talk about, but then we just go with the flow. And so Freyja's got to this point before me because I think that— and I, I was just about to say it next— is the whole idea of being reliant on those tools, right? And then the only way you can get there is with that device, and, and but you've not tried to do it yourself, maybe with your hands or with touch or with your partner. And then it becomes the only way you can do something. Yeah.
[Freyja 24:45] And I think different people have their different favorite toys, different sensation. I know two different type, three different type of guys. They like to use the wand on their self and I will ask them this. So what kind of wand do you like? And by that experience, I find out there's like several type of vibrator. One is very gentle and soft, and one type of person like me, I would like the like moving more. Yes, not just like gentle vibration. Yeah, I can't feel things on it, but some people like that very like gentle kisses.
[Bill 25:32] Ah, yes, yes, yes.
[Freyja 25:33] That's different type, and you can just find what you like more.
[Bill 25:37] Yeah.
[Freyja 25:37] Yeah, you need to try on every more.
[Bill 25:41] Yeah.
[Freyja 25:42] To find that you need to allow yourself to feel the different and say, oh, that's not my type.
[Bill 25:49] Yes, yes. And the good thing of that is that if you just went out and bought a bucketload of different toys, that can be very expensive very quickly. So going back to your point, it's better to have an idea of what you like in your body first, what you know from either playing with yourself or having others play with you to give you an idea of— and, and again, I think feedback is so important. I, there are— I've had many, many experiences where, um, the— now let's, let's talk oral sex, right? So let's talk licking and sucking, where for one person, maybe they've had one partner for a long time, or they have the way they've always done it Right? And for most people, it may work. But then they meet somebody and it's like, well, this does nothing for me. But it's nothing wrong, and it's guidance again. It's not like you're doing this wrong. It says, can you do this like this for me? Because this is how I like it. Or prefer it. And nobody should take that as like, you mean my technique is horrible and you don't like what I'm doing? It's like, no, I'm showing you the magic button. The thing I really like that you can do for me, uh, and that's boy, girl, girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, whatever the combination is. It's, it's beautiful. That feedback is, is, is not given enough. It's— I know many people say, oh well, she doesn't give a very good blowjob. Well, did you tell her what you liked, or did you just let her go and you just went, oh well, that was disappointing? You know, and it's the same thing, I'm sure, with girls. If a guy is licking you and it's like you're not getting the right action down there and the right reaction, are you actually telling them harder, softer, faster, slower? Yeah, even those basic techniques, or up a bit, down a bit, left a bit, right a bit.
[Freyja 27:45] It feels like the full sale orgasm, but that one is not on the right spot.
[Bill 27:51] Yeah, or do nothing, or you're just edging the person really close forever and they're like, ah, which could be great as well, you know. They could be like, hey, do this for me for the first 5 minutes and then move here, and then I'll and then I'll explode. So again, that all goes back to the first point about communication, right? And about just having and exploring and about expanding, um, your ideas. But the good thing as well is one of the reasons, you know, both of us here run events and we do education is that it's amazing how many people just need to have that conversation with somebody else, um, somebody who's experienced, or they're not having a deeper enough conversation with their partner who they're intimate with. And I think I've seen both of that very, very recently, where it's obviously the, the two people who are in a relationship together aren't, um, communicating enough and they're not making each other happy.
[Freyja 28:56] Yeah.
[Bill 28:57] So with that being said, What do you think is the best way—and I have an idea as well—is when you're exploring with somebody else, particularly if you have the opportunity to show each other? We're not talking like first time you're with somebody because again, it's exploration. Yes. I'm talking about when you get to know each other. What do you like to show the other person that you like? You could be specific about you or just general. What are you thinking about? Like how you like how to be touched or how do you show them? Do you put their hand somewhere or do you tell them? Or do you— what's kind of your way?
[Freyja 29:46] Depends on what we're doing. Okay. Yes. Maybe it's the touching is like I will grab their hands on they're like doing things and say, I really like this.
[Bill 29:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah. But being— but not forceful, but saying like, I want your hand here, touch here. Okay, I like that.
[Freyja 30:05] Yeah, it can be demand. I can see this in you being demand.
[Bill 30:11] Yeah, it's like, touch me here, do this, do this. But, but isn't that— that could be quite sexy too, isn't it? If you think about it, if all of a sudden, you know, you may be very quiet and submissive person in day-to-day life, and then all of a sudden you go, touch me here, do this, grab this.
[Freyja 30:30] Depends on the person they like.
[Bill 30:32] Oh, that could be awesome. You know, it'd be like a bit of role play in there as well as you, as you mix into that. And I think our brains and our mind is very, very overlooked in all of this. Like we touched on porn earlier and we were talking about off, off, off mic. About the different types of pornography we like or don't like. And, and I know Freyja has— she goes through different phases of liking different types. I'm not going to share. She's looking at me like, are you going to share my personal— no, I'm not going to share. But, you know, just a genre or a type of porn that she would like. And again, the beauty of it is that she will then play with herself in front of me while watching the porn, and I get to see and feel out more about her. And I do less of that with her for myself, because for me, a lot of the porn stuff is a— it's really weird. I have to kind of— going back to energy— I have to like, well, I think that that actual porn actor or actress looks really cool, or I think they're really sexy, or what they're doing in the scene is really connected. And it's, and it's less to do with a formula or a structure. Yeah, it's less to do with, oh my God, they're tied up, or, or it's two guys on one girl, or it's this, or she's doing that. It has more to do with— I think that's where I'm very difficult to deal with, that it's, it's— for me, it's very mental, you know. Uh, my head has to be in it, and, and, and also it's in the moment. And I think I'm probably harder to read sensually than a lot of people. I don't really have buttons per se. You might disagree with me.
[Freyja 32:18] Oh, I totally disagree.
[Bill 32:20] So tell me, so we then share. So what do you think a lot of my, you know, your magic buttons, my magic buttons.
[Freyja 32:27] Yeah, do you want me to share in front of you?
[Bill 32:31] But it's more a question of, of course there are physical things that I like, of course there are, and then you know them more than anybody that what I like. But I'm thinking about that as you explore by yourself. I think that that whole idea of there should be no shame in self-gratification, there should be no shame in— hey, so you're not together like we're, we're good together right now. Now we're going to be soon to be back to many, many thousands of, you know, kilometers, miles apart. And to then be in a situation where we can also celebrate each other's pleasures. Yeah, from a distance, there's nothing wrong with that. And we should— so if all of a sudden, you know, if your partner just needs to get off and come and— oh, with all due respect, fuck you, I'm not gonna, um— so we have to now put an E on our little podcast because I swore, um, that I'm not, not caring about you, but I really need to come right now. If you're not here, or if you're here and you're not involved, I think that's beautiful too. I think it's just allowing that person to have their openness and their sexuality acknowledged and not to put any sort of stigma on it, you know, like, um, you did this by yourself, ooh, or you didn't do it with me.
[Freyja 33:55] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people would feel that, like, it's like, why you come by yourself? Yeah, am I not good enough? Yeah, am I just not sexy? Or you're hard and but you're not like want to having sex with me.
[Bill 34:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a bit like, you know, it's like I've got 5 minutes before I go back to work, I need to freaking just do this, right? I'm blue balling crazy. Blue balling. Yeah, for the— yeah, oh my God. Yeah, so, um, that— so there's lots of different aspects of that, and I think that whole idea of people's individual guilt and also how, uh, other people may think about themselves, you know, if they're a partner and that partner wants to pleasure themselves. I think if that person's being sexual and open and communicative, I think it's beautiful. And the fact that you say, yay, go for it, you know, I'd rather have, uh, a partner who can when they need to please themselves, knowing that I support that, that partner is going to come back to me more often to communicate. Yeah, to connect. Yeah, I think that we're in, we're in that situation. I think that, but nothing's perfect. We can always improve and always learn. And I think for those of you listening, thank you. And we also love the fact as well, for questions, if you have any on any topic in and around sex and intimacy and kink, feel free to drop us an email. What's the email address again?
[Freyja 35:27] Orgasm Express with 3 S in the end, @gmail.com. Perfect.
[Bill 35:32] And then, so feel free to— we might even have a question and answer podcast only if we get enough questions. So keep them firing in. So with, with that in mind, I think that this podcast is maybe a few minutes shorter, but we don't want to stretch it out just for I think it's very decent. The want of and the need of just saying stuff, because I think there's good takeaways from here is that, you know, everybody's very, very important. Their own personal sexuality is very important. How they explore is very important.
[Freyja 36:06] Yeah, um, I think next time I might want to share my orgy party experience, and I meet the porn star in there.
[Bill 36:15] Oh yeah, there's some, you know, and it's interesting because there was That's a nice little kind of to leave you with a taster. I arranged some events, as it were, for Freyja, and also she had her own experiences whilst traveling, and I think that would be a fantastic episode to talk in detail about just exploring further and those sorts of things. Because lots of people have those as fantasies, but how do you make them reality? And what's the experiences? I would say particularly from a, a female perspective, it's going to be really, really interesting. I'm, I'm looking forward— I've heard some of this before, but not all of it. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to hearing that as much as everybody else who subscribes and always listening. It's a new— please subscribe, and then we look forward to, uh, entertaining you more. Yes. So that about wraps it up. Uh, until next time, uh, thank you for joining us on the Orgasm Express. I'm Bill. I'm Freyja Manor. Thank you and goodbye. See you.